Some of us were raised by amazing people, good parents who wanted the best for us, treated us well, and set us up for success. Others of us were raised by parents who were so embroiled in their own struggles, they weren’t even capable of good parenting. Most parents fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. Most of the best of parents are not perfect, and many of the worst of parents have at least a sliver of redeem-ability.

When we want to choose to follow a healthy path, but we know it is not one our culture would have us choose, we often feel as though being a disappointment, is worse than making choices for ourselves. We let our path be dictated by others, or by our perception of others, often these others are our parents. When we choose to follow un-healthy paths, we often feel forced to have followed them (or at least excused for having followed them) due to the conduct of others who have influenced our lives. Often the others we choose to accuse for the sad paths we follow are (again) our parents. In either case we are either blindly following or blindly resisting our parents, or community, or culture, (and often resistance looks like following.) Yet in these cases we are not establishing our own path, we are letting our path be dictated by our reaction to the paths of our progenitors.

We can see and apply those good things and avoid the bad things that come from our parents, ancestry, and culture (traditions, habits, lifestyles, ideals, values, etc.) while establishing our own identity. We can discard from ourselves the bitterness, blame, fear, or unhealthy behavior that may have stemmed from the behavior of any of our family members. We can establish values for ourselves, the ones by which we want to live our lives on our own terms. We can discover principles and then follow them unflinchingly. Part of our path must be letting go, and part of our path must be picking up. As we grow up, we can also grow deep…grow in our ability to feel the ground for ourselves, and to make our way across it. As we go along the way, dedicatedly letting things go (forgiving, overcoming, relinquishing) and picking things up (discovering, learning, establishing), before we know it… the way has become our Own Path.

Indicators:

I am discovering and accepting my own identity regardless of who else does.
I am establishing my own identity for myself, not for anyone else, or against anyone else.
I do not blindly resist my parent’s ideals and values.
Regardless of how I was raised, I explore ideals, and values generally and decide how they might apply to me.
I do not blindly accept my parent’s ideals and values.
I recognize that my parent’s views/habits/patterns do not have to determine my own.
I no longer blame my parent’s inadequacies (perceived or real) for my own problems.
Notwithstanding either their deficiencies or proficiencies, I demonstrate sincere appreciation for my parents.

Own Path (Petro-Person)

The main figure has smaller figures (one or more depending on the medium being used) within it. This represents the fact that all of us have our ancestral influences within us (our DNA, the manner in which we were raised, etc.). Even though we have these influences (for better or worse) we are the bigger figure. The main figure also has significant feet, conveying the idea that it can walk its own path.